e-book If Only: How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity

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If only : how to turn regret into opportunity, Neal Roese

It essentially turns into a movie reel, which gets stored into the deep recesses of our subconscious mind. It can be pulled out at any point for screening within our mental realm. They have the choice of making the film a comedy, tragedy, a drama, or even an inspiring biopic. Someone that is tormented by regret will turn their movie into a sad tale of pain, tears and maybe even guilt.

Regret is especially more toxic in cases where people attach their identity to their actions because they tend to blame their personal character for the regretful incidences. This dysfunctional behavior pattern gradually erodes their sense of confidence and self-esteem. Regret will not only ruin the quality of your life but make you more susceptible to contracting serious illnesses. According to energy medicine practitioners and healers, most health ailments are nothing but physical manifestations of unaddressed emotional matters that we have been repressing for a long time.

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If you are someone who is shrouded in deep regret, take heart in knowing that with some inner work and positive shifts in your perspectives, you can make peace with your regrets and move on. You deserve to be relieved from this heavy burden and to live in a state of repose and light-heartedness. Just as how farmers periodically burn down old crops and use the residue as fertilizers to nourish new seeds, we too can use the ashes from our past experiences to fertilize the soil of tomorrow, upon which we can plant seeds of hope.

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With the right care and attention, those seeds will eventually sprout into a full-blown version of the highest vision that we have for our lives. Question for you: Do you believe that it is possible to turn regret into inspiration? What are some steps that you can take to accomplish this? Did you like this post? I am sure there are some situations and some examples of regret that can be used as growing opportunities and moments to learn things.

However I think many regrets, at least in my life, are simply that regrets over things I did not do or could not do or things that did not go the way I had hoped. Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — If Only by Neal Roese. In fact, they are produced spontaneously by the brain with a very practical goal—to guide us toward improvement.

If Only: How to Turn Regret into Opportunity by Neal Roese, Ph.D.

But the same thoughts can bring the pain of regret. Is it worth the pain to get the improvement? Or should you live life with no regrets? The surprising message of If Only is that we can manage our regret style to maximize the gain and minimize the pain. In an entertaining and upbeat book that weds lively science writing to practical self-help, Dr.


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Roese mines the research and shares simple strategies for managing your life to make the most of regret. You may react to a regrettable situation by taking many fewer chances. This only ensures that you will miss out on new opportunities. Consider the downward alternatives.

How could a bad situation have gone even worse?

This makes you feel appreciative of what you have. But you will regret the things left undone.


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If Only opens a new window into the way our minds work and offers clear lessons for living more happily with the past. Look over the list and try to identify areas of your life that represent the greatest vulnerability to future regret. And act now to avoid regret later. Get A Copy. Hardcover , pages. Published January 11th by Harmony first published January 1st More Details Original Title.

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Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about If Only , please sign up. Lists with This Book. If only you had pursued that job, ended that relationship sooner or moved to a new city, everything would be just perfect. Nonsense, of course. We tend to look back and think that missed opportunities — real or imagined — could have set us on a different, possibly more rewarding path.

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Left unchecked, these emotions can become overwhelming sources of stress and anxiety. But even painful emotions like regret can be powerful sources of inspiration. And there are good reasons for doing so. Researchers have found that obsessing over regrets has a negative impact on mood and sleep , can increase impulsivity , and can be a risk factor for binge eating and misusing alcohol. As a clinical psychologist, one of my most important tasks in helping people lead healthy, happy and meaningful lives is to teach them evidence-based strategies to manage their emotions.

That includes how to use regrets to motivate them. Many of us try to push pain away. Others ruminate about perceived mistakes. And in a vicious twist, dodging upsetting feelings actually makes them even more present: Suppressing our emotions can diminish our capacity for joy and potentially manifest as physical pain. Sign up here for the Smarter Living newsletter to get stories like this and much more! Try this: Start by slowing down and noticing your thoughts and sensations.

Reaching this middle ground between avoiding and dwelling will prove less depressing. However, researchers also found that when people find a silver lining in their regret, they are able to think more clearly. Further, when we find ourselves consumed by self-criticism, it can feel tempting to focus on quick fixes, like distracting ourselves, rather than taking steps to improve.

And regrets that arise from inaction — i.